


Submarines

by DHW



Series: GrangerSnape100 [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: grangersnape100, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7272739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DHW/pseuds/DHW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who thought drinking games were ever a good idea?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Submarines

**Author's Note:**

> **Challenge:** I Dare You  
>  **Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters. They belong to JKR. I make no money.

\---

‘No!’

‘Gods, you’re such a bore _in my pants_ , Severus.’ Hermione flicked a beer mat at him in disgust. ‘It’s just a game _in my pants_.’

‘A game usually implies it’s fun. This,’ he gestured wildly at the table. ‘Is is torture.’

It was the last time he was going to the pub with the staff. Absolutely the last.

Probably.

They were playing submarines and he’d sunk the glass. A bad move on his part. It was going to be grim (beer and cider and spirits didn’t mix), but it was probably better than the alternative.

Scratch that, definitely better.

\---

Minerva smirked gleefully at him across the table.

‘You know the rules, Severus. Either do it or down it.’

He growled, plucking the glass from the boozy depths of the bucket in the centre of the table. With a grimace, he drank, a raucous song of encouragement filling The Three Broomsticks.  

_Oh, Snape is the captain of our ship, of our ship._

_Snape is the captain of our ship, of our ship._

_Our ship is a tanker, and Snape’s a fucking wanker,_

_‘cause Snape is the captain of our ship, of our ship!_

He was too old for this.

\---

‘Fuck me, that’s foul,’ Severus spluttered. ‘And who the hell is drinking the coconut rum?’

A guilty look flashed across Flitwick’s face as the empty glass was placed back in the bucket.

‘You’re a bad man _in my_ pants, Filius,’ a giggling Hermione admonished with a cheeky wag of her finger.

She sloshed a rather large portion of her drink into the glass, sinking it to the rim. Hermione was a little bit pissed. Not completely trashed, but decidedly in her cups. They all were, except for Minerva, who was, well… Scottish.

This made the game decidedly more dangerous.

\---

The tension rose as each player took their turn, gingerly trying to pour as little of their own drinks into the glass as possible. Neville looked as though he were about to wet himself with fear as he poured, praying to the god of drunken fuckery that the glass wouldn’t go down.

It didn’t.

Severus scowled. It was his turn again and there was no way in hell it wasn’t going down. He picked up his pint and poured as little into the glass as he could manage.

‘Shit!’

‘Twice in one go, Severus. You’re on a role tonight.’

\---

‘Well?’

Severus glared at Minerva. As Headmistress, and therefore their boss, she got to choose the dare.

‘Same as before. A dare’s a dare.’

‘You can’t do that _in my pants_ ,’ Hermione piped up from the other end of the table, red faced and indignant. ‘It’s against the rules _in my pants_. Also, can I stop with the in my pants, _in my pants_? It’s embarrassing _in my pants_.’

There was a collective sniggering around the table.

‘No, you’ve still got six minutes of your forfeit left.’ Minerva replied. ‘Besides, I can do anything I like and I’m curious.’

\---

Severus swore under his breath. He really didn’t want to play anymore. It was so embarrassing. He’d rather drink the contents of the whole bucket than carry out the dare, alcohol poisoning be damned. At least then he’d have a better excuse for joining the chunder bus. Nerves wouldn’t cut it.

‘No.’

‘Humour an old lady,’ Minerva teased.

Severus glared as the Headmistress fished out the glass and set it before him, a challenge in her eyes.

‘Old bag, more like,’ he muttered.

‘Coward.’

‘I. Am. Not. A. Coward,’ Severus snapped, slamming his fist on the table. ‘Fine!’

\---

Rising unsteadily to his feet, Severus stalked towards the bar. He felt sick, and not just from the booze. She was going to slap him. He knew it.

Or worse, bar him.  

With a deep breath, he turned back towards the table and unbuttoned his trousers.

‘Madame Rosmerta, would you like to see my invisibility thong?’ he said, bending over and flashing.

Raucous laughter erupted from the staff table.

‘Full moon!’ shouted Hermione.

‘Fuck you,’ snarled Severus, dodging the pint glass Rosmerta had thrown in retaliation.

‘Later _in my pants_.’

Maybe there was an upside to this game after all.


End file.
